Saturday, August 11, 2012

You have no idea - The dark side of me...

You absolutely have no idea of the tears that I've shed nor of the pain I've gone through. Yet you judge me based on the little knowledge you have. What you consider success means nothing to me. 

I don't yearn for money. Nor for fame. I desire a peaceful life. For I've undergone so much trouble and discontent that my heart fears to desire anymore. A peaceful day and a peaceful night's sleep is more than enough for me. 

You accuse me of mediocrity. You accuse me of laziness. You accuse me of not fulfilling your dreams.

Do you have any idea of what my dreams are? Do you  know my selfless intentions? Do you know the thoughts of my mind? Do you know the yearning of my soul?

You laugh at me when I fall. You discourage me when I rise up. You compare. 
You tell me I've achieved nothing in my life. You tell me I'll achieve nothing in my life. You mock my ideas. You mock my little achievements

Do you know how often I'm depressed? Do you know how often I wish to sleep but am tormented with pain? Do you know how it pains when I feel lonely?

You talk with everyone. You smile at everyone. But when you see me you are repelled away. You feel I'm so insignificant. You think I have no feelings. 

Do you know how my heart is burdened? Do you know how I long for company?

You think I've some headache. You consider me an headache. You think it's my top excuse. 

Have you felt the pain that torments me? Do you know that suicidal thoughts have come to me in the peak of excruciating pain mixed with depressed feelings? Do you know how I suffer? Do you know that it affects all dimensions of my life?

Yet with all my imperfections, I've have a little ambitious thoughts. My dreams are selfless. I don't think about tomorrow. I'm bent upon making today peaceful for another soul like me.
Because when I see, I can feel the pain of another soul.

You have no idea of the tears I've shed