Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Ethics of Love

This post is a part of my "Getting Trained for Marriage" post. I try to learn the principles of a good relationship through whatever I observe. Being a post graduate medico in Pharmacology, I was talking a class on ethics for some students. This post is a result of post-class effect (musings).

How would you react when your doctor performed an appendectomy on you and charged you when there was no actual need?

How would you react when your personal information was shared to others without your knowledge by your doctor?

Unethical aren’t they??

How would a girl react when she finds after her marriage that her husband had been a chronic smoker and has actually cheated her? (If love was true, he should have stopped smoking for his love instead of trying to cheat)

All is fair in love & marriage, they say. Is is so? Are thousand lies acceptable for establishing a lifelong relationship in marriage?
If your answer to the above questions is “yes”, just imagine yourself to be on the wronged side for a moment!!

There are certain ethical principles which every medical professional is supposed to follow. I find that these provide certain principles on how we should treat our most loved one as well. Well, isn’t this relationship more important than the doc-patient relationship!!

The Principle of Autonomy

You love a person. You propose. But you are left with a rejected proposal and a broken heart. What do you do?? Find out the reason behind the rejection. Explain your love more clearly. Show your love in action to him/her without offending the other person. Give time for the emotions of love to take root in the other heart. NEVER FORCE or ATTEMPT TO FORCE. Love never buds by force. It rather would die.
If it still doesn't work out, move away gracefully.

And just because you are united together in marriage, never force decisions or orders on your spouse. Appreciate individuality and foster autonomy.

The Principle of Beneficence/ No Harm

Ask yourself.
“What’s the purpose of this love?”
“Is your love a means by which you serve your own interest?”
Many people get this thing totally wrong. The major reason why young people seek out for relationships while at their college is peer pressure. Their main aim to show others they too have a girl/guy with them.

You are to love someone to make him/her happy. It is to sacrifice everything of yours to benefit the other. As I put in my words, “True love is like a tumour that arises in the heart And permeates your soul until you lose yourself selflessly for the other”
If you love someone for your happiness, to satisfy your ego or lust then you’re merely using them. And it equates to harming them.

But then, do you loose yourself because of love ! No ! I don't think so. But rather, in mutually trying to seek for the best of the other, a richer and fulfilling relationship will form! I hope.

The Principle of Justice & Equality

You come home late but you get angry at your partner when the meeting at her workplace took his/her time.
You rest all Sunday but you expect your partner to cook, to clean, to care the child etc..etc..
So many examples can be given in this regard.

Whatever privileges you’re allowed, your partner has them too.
Whatever law binds your partner, binds you as well.

The Principle of Confidentiality

Major relationship break ups occur because one of the members divulges information about the other to the outer world. And these social networking sites come handy in breaking relationships! Happens mostly by girls, though not exclusively. In their gossip hours, they let out certain personal info of their significant other.  This could start an unhealthy conversation about your significant other and may sow hatred in hearts. Unnecessary doubts and suspicions can be kept at bay if certain levels of confidentiality are maintained.

Have your principles right. Principles are the guiding posts to reach your purpose in life.

I do appreciate your comments as I go on with my "getting trained for my marriage" posts !