Happiness is My Ambition: End of 2k12 post!

Well, this year, 2012, has had both joyful moments and not-so-joyful moments. To be honest, there were many-a-times tearful moments that tested my heart's capacity to hope. Indeed, life is made beautiful with all these emotions giving colour to our mundane lives and building up our character and strength.

But happiness is a choice ! And it is up to us to CHOOSE it ! 
No matter what life brings our way, we need to understand that our evanescent lives are not to be wasted sitting around a corner and eating our grief. We need to rise up, create our own happiness and even better share it.

Here are some of what I found would help me create happiness !

1. Happiness is found in company of friends

Sometimes you may have to search for solitude and reflect upon your lives. But largely, being in a company of good friends puts a spirit of happiness in your heart, makes you feel loved and accepted.

2. Happiness is found in helping a fellow soul

Giving is more blessed than receiving. By helping others, we create in ourselves a sense of joy and security. It builds up faith and hope in humanity.

3. Happiness is found on becoming a child again

Chasing bubbles, playing with pets dogs and cats, running around with laughter, a sweet smile of innocence...

4. Happiness is found in communicating with your loved ones

Nothing can be more sweet !

5. Happiness is found in love

And love is found everywhere, if you've got the eyes to see it. Brotherly love, sisterly love, parental love, love for our friends. LOVE makes this world go round. And it still does, even after Dec 21, 2012.


6. Happiness is found in the work you love

Now that's me :-p


7. Happiness if found in your achievements

However great or small, your achievements make you fell good, build your self esteem, and earn respect.

8. Happiness if found in relaxing & reflecting

Take a break and care for yourself too.

9. Happiness is found in nature

A sunrise/ A sunset can make the your day !

10. Happiness is found in fighting the despair

Everyday you won't return home from work with a feeling of achievement. Everyday won't trun out to be the best of days. Certain days turn out to be bad, some worse. Fighting the odds of life and staying firm in hope put back happiness.

Wish you a very happy & productive new year, 2013. 
Thank you.

Comments welcome !

Happiness is what we choose...what we create ! 

No Terror from Afar, but Cursed Within

I saw them coming, a mighty mad mob.

With deadlier weapons and thundering voices,
They wasted no time on their way to our home.

I stood there gazing at the sky, terror stricken & pale;
My frail heart fibrillating like a fancy toy gone weird.

So close they’d come, a millisecond more before a deadly kiss!

But they paused.

I heard them jeering at us.

“These people are killing themselves”
“And destroying their own planet, it’ll be fun to watch”
“Let’s sit back and enjoy”

And so the Earth rotated and revolved like any other day
With no terror from afar, but cursed within.

A Teenage Mother, My Patient.

A true story.

She was 17 years old. Married. Pregnant. Now in labour. 
(She was about to have her childbirth very soon)

I was there on duty. In the labour ward of JIPMER. 
As a final year MBBS student. 

She was yelling in pain. 

I was too tired & wanted to run out of the labour room and get some rest.

But I was very sensitive to the pregnant mothers' sufferings. Especially if they were bearing their first child, I consoled them more because they would have never experienced labour before.

I went to her side. After putting the IV line, taking the investigations and checking her BP, other vitals and checking her child's heart rate, I spoke to her. I spoke very calmly. I told her that all her pain would be short lasted. I told her that her child would come and make her the happiest woman on Earth. 

The more I spoke to her, the more calm she felt.

As I went away from her to check on the other patients, she'd call me whenever she got contractions. "Anna, please stay by my side" she'd say.
The nurse there was quite furious. She kept scolding my patient. "You are not the only patient here", "Does this doctor look like your Anna?", she kept yelling.

Whenever I went by her side, she'd hold my hands firm as her uterus contracted hard trying to push her child out. She seemed to feel a little lesser pain when I stood close. Or that is what I felt.

To me, she was still a child.

Unfortunately for her, her labour was getting prolonged. After all the drugs and treatment, after so much of suffering, she finally gave birth to a beautiful male child.

I personally put the stitches on her. I gave her good local anesthesia so that she'd feel no more pain. I was happy with what I'd done. I thought all her pain was gone and happiness was born into her life.

When she was taken out of the labour room in a wheel chair, I was standing outside.

I thought she'd wave happily at me.

But she tried to hold my hand again and she stared crying... " Anna, my husband is a drunkard. He beats me everyday. Please help me Anna".

I pulled my hand away from her. "Everything will be fine", I told her swiftly. I moved inside labour room with a broken heart. 

With a broken, bleeding heart.

Bokeh Creations !

The Magical Glass Pot !
The concept is quite old. But I did give a good try at it. It took so much time for me to arrange this setup to get this shot. The background is nothing but Christmas Tree serial lights which are out of focus ! 

A cute ceramic girl ! I'd used it from my shot as well. In my perspective, she's a lonely girl waiting to meet her Prince Charming !

If you like my pics, do visit my Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/aboalbonpaul.photos

and leave a Like or a Comment ! Thank you !

Life isn't a bed of roses??

Five pics with a point !

  

" When one withers away, there's always one ready to replace "... 

And so life goes on & on...

on this Earth !

Well, all you might need is to change your way of looking at things. It will make you problems look smaller and the solution will appear more clear.  

 You are not the unfortunate one ! Everyone has been given his/her own burden to carry. Carry it with a smile and in style.

Stop running around and hug your loved ones !

I am not lazy. 

I am not sleeping.

I am just waiting for my day !

# Beyond the clinics

It so happened that I came across a man in the medicine ward, two years ago. He was in his mid-twenties. He was so thin, so yellow with jaundice & totally disoriented. One look at him, anyone would recognize it as hepatic encephalopathy. Hepatocellular failure or simply decompensated LIVER FAILURE was the functional diagnosis.

However, there was something strange that kept me staring at his chest. There were strange marks on his chest and shoulders. Some 30-40 small circular scars (as if he was scarred of molluscum!) So I asked his attender how they appeared. I was told that they were cigarette butt marks which he self imposed on himself.

I scanned through his physique. I saw something else on the inner surface of his right forearm. Something in Tamil was tattooed in bold and large typeface. I took hold of his hand and lifted it up so as to get a better view of what was imprinted. 

It was a name of a girl.

The real diagnosis was LOVE FAILURE and not just LIVER FAILURE.

A broken bone can be fixed. But a broken heart??

Rising above competition

We live in a very competitive world. Very true.

Competitiveness is the positive force that keeps pushing us upward. It's the competitive spirit that keeps raising our expectations & helps us attain & achieve more. It makes us innovate, come up with better designs, perform better research, live improved quality of life and stuff.

But competitiveness can become a vice too. Negative competition, as it is called, can lead to jealousy, envy, enmity and hatred.

" Replace competition with collaboration & cooperation "

Negativism spoils competition when the compelling reason for the competition is a but a selfish motive.

If our real motive as doctors is to ensure better patient care, why should we be too much obsessed with personal success in terms of more abstract knowledge or more recognition or more money?

Let's join hands with others in making this world a better place to live. Success soon shall surrender itself at thy feet. You'd have won many hearts' reverence when you leave this Earth.

Have a nice day !

Getting trained for marriage !

Training seems to be an absolute requirement these days!

Starting from the toilet training we had as young children, we continue to receive training of various sorts irrespective of whether we like it or not! 
I had to undergo 14 years of school training, 5.5 years of basic medical training and now 3 years of MD and further 3 years of DM. Not only these, even smaller periods of training, I had. Like the Bible training I had at Church, the training for PG thesis, training for Therapeutic Drug Monitoring etc...etc..
I also trained myself in Photography & basic post processing techniques.

After all these years, I can realize the value of training and the effect that it had on me. So I begin to ponder are people being trained to become better spouses/parents? Though I have some 2 or 3 years more probably before I'd get married, I feel I should get trained to shoulder the responsibilities that would arise.

Yes, we had Moral science classes at school, but I feel a greater need for more enlightenment into the principles that have made better spouses/parents.

So how??

As of now, I am not very sure as to how! But I see certain ways it can be done. I'll draft a plan how I can get this done. I going to train myself.
Here, I put some of the some ideas, I've got.

The Golden Principle:
I realize that I have some expectations of how my spouse should be. So would she, with expectations of how I should be.
So my plan is to make a list of qualities I desire to see in her and cultivate it in me. 

I also would read good books on this subject. Not those self help books. Books like "The Love Dare", I mean.

Maybe after drafting my plan, I would blog it. You can share your ideas with me too. 

- Abialbon@gmail.com :-)

Have a nice week ahead.

A Ray of Hope !

This is the first photo taken by me with my old point & shoot camera which actually stimulated me to take up Photography as a hobby. Nothing great about this photo but somewhere in it, I saw, 
A Ray of Hope.

If you like my photos and would like to have a look at them, use the following links
Facebook page :https://www.facebook.com/Abialbonpaul.photos
Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/abialbon

At Rainfall

Inspired by Skyfall, Synapticsparks has come out with the lyrics to created an awareness of saving rain water. I wish I could get Adele to sing this for me in her ever sweet voice.

Just put on the Skyfall song which Adele sang for the James Bond movie and read the lyrics below in the background. You'll fell the need to save rainfall.
Here's the YouTube link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeumyOzKqgI

This is the end

Of monsoons and the misty winds

Feel the Earth dry and cry

Hear my tears fall again

For this is the end

I've feared and fought this moment

So cruel here I curse them

Swept away, and stolen

Let the rainfall

When it thunders

We will stand tall

And save it all together

At Rainfall

At Rainfall

Rainfall is where we start

A thousand drops and lives are caught

Where winds are high  and skies are dark

You may have my plumber, you may take my tap

But you'll never have a drop.

Let the rainfall

When it thunders

We will stand tall

And save it all together

At Rainfall

Where you fall I fall

Where you pour I plead

I know I'd never be me

Without your purity

Of your loving dew

Keeping me from heat

Pour your loot in our land

And we'll stand

Let the rainfall

When it thunders

We will stand tall

And save it all together

At Rainfall

At Rainfall

Are you too busy??

Don't be too busy all the time. Live life :-)

A Day with Flowers

The Autumn of my Heart

This is how I feel. This is the 50th post in my blog. This post was planned to the best but I don't feel like blogging. I feel depressed. And thanks to photography, I can express what I feel. 

Not professional. Passionate.

To take this picture I had to travel for long on the highway in my bike. I stopped at one place and kept waiting for this fleeting moment. I like this photograph very much.

Iatrogenic Fear

What is the most common iatrogenic disease/morbidity?

Ask me and I'll tell you it's fear/anxiety.

You may laugh at it. You may either think it's not a morbidity or you may feel it's not so prevalent. Either way, I feel, is a wrong opinion.

So to prove my point I did a little experiment. I did this with goodwill hoping it would change someone reading this. I set out and randomly meet patients admitted in different wards during my Clinical Pharmacology posting. They ranged from simple cases of fever to cancer patients. I went to them and introduced myself as a student doctor. I spoke with them patiently and built a rapport with them.

As I was conversing with them, I came to understand that none of them were aware of what was going on to them, neither their diagnosis nor their treatment. Leave alone their prognosis. I could feel their anxiety. They were worried and were fearful of worse things that could happen to them. Some were even worried because a fellow patient with similar complaints was investigated with bone marrow aspiration (a invasive procedure). They were afraid that anytime their resident doctor would come and drill their hip bones too.

As I was still talking with them, they started bringing to me all the test reports that they had got done. They took out the X rays and CT films. They took out the big files containing all sorts of blood reports which were done in the private hospitals they visited before the came to JIPMER. They wanted me to tell them the diagnosis and the course of treatment.
(However their records were long and further I did not want to say anything to the patient that would hinder/disrupt their relationship with their treating physician)

And as positive controls I went and spoke with some patients in wards where I knew the patients were quite well informed. I could indeed feel a drastic difference.
Those with good prognosis were eagerly waiting to go home. Those with poorer prognosis were, of course, sad & worried. However they were well informed and they kept their hope alive.

Good communication is a strong foundation for any relationship and the doctor-patient relationship is no exception. It is even more important in relieving the patient of his unnecessary fears. Clinical rounds are conducted on a t.i.d basis in some wards (once by the final Yr resident, once by the SR and then by the consultant) but sadly very little information is passed on to the patient. Most often it is the resident doctor who keeps running around all day for patient care. However the patient is more impressed with the nurse who gives him/her the medicines (No..no the big-mouthed yelling sisters, I mean the sweeter ones:) because in communicating with her the patient finds care and compassion.

Cure occasionally, Relieve often, Console & Comfort always! - Anon
Thank you for patient reading.

Art from My Heart!

Life is fleeting, so hold your friends close

https://www.facebook.com/Abialbonpaul.photos

Commitment to Quality

You might be knowing that in any hospital, the waste is segregated at the collection point. i.e. there are different coloured garbage bags in which different types of wastes are to be put in. For eg, in JIPMER, I've seen three different coloured bags which are kept in all wards, operating rooms, procedure rooms etc. for different kinds of wastes. So if I have to discard an used needle, I'll have to destroy it and throw it in a BLUE bag only. So for the whole system to work efficiently and for the purpose to be fulfilled requires a lot of commitment and motivation from each and every person inside the hospital including the patients.

Now, I was posted in Medicine dept. for two weeks and so I was in one of the the medicine wards. There in a corner was kept an YELLOW coloured garbage bag. Just above it, on the wall, was written " Keep BLUE BAGS only ". That particular corner was near the injection trolley and hence more waste sharps will be generated there. So it would be easy for people to throw them into the BLUE bag if it was kept there. But an YELLOW bag was kept there by mistake and people were throwing wastes which had to be thrown into BLUE bags!
I called the nursing sister in-charge of that ward and showed this to her. To my utter surprise, she just laughed at it and went away. She thought I was making fun of it and she enjoyed the joke!

A week later, I'm in Christian Medical College, Vellore for a workshop on Therapeutic Drug Monitoring and HPLC. During my visit there, I saw that in CMC there were five different coloured bags kept at waste collection sites. (in JIPMER we have three). And there were also many posters at different places displaying information on which type of waste had to be disposed in each of the coloured garbage bags.

We were receiving hands-on training with the HPLC operations in their labs. Once I was using the pipettes and doing some drug extraction. After pipetting, I removed my gloves and I was searching for a RED bag to throw it into. (as per their protocol, PPE* had to be thrown into RED bags). But somehow I didn't find any red bag nearby. Considering the fact that my gloves didn't come into contact with any infective material while pipetting, I threw the gloves into the GREEN bag nearby. The senior lab in-charge came and she asked me where I'd disposed my gloves. She probably asked this cause she expected that I would't have noticed the RED bag under the cover of an instrument. So when she asked me, I pointed to the GREEN bag. Without any hesitation, she wore a glove, put her hand into the garbage bag, removed the gloves I'd thrown into and put them into the RED bag. I was appalled by what she did. She was the senior-most yet she didn't order anyone else to do it. And she didn't ignore it as well.

I'm not saying CMC is better than JIPMER. NO. That is not what this post has  to convey. But what is the level of commitment we have? Are we motivated to contribute to the success of the system in a positive way? Doesn't that make a difference?

I'll leave you here....with a synapticspark !
_______________________________
*PPE - Personal Protective Equipment

Dog Induced Synapticsparks!

We have two little puppies at our house. Both around a month old.
I was playing with them. I took out some biscuits and offered them.
They didn't eat. They didn't even bother to sniff the biscuits. They moved away.
I threw the biscuits nearer to them but it only frightened them as if I were throwing stones.
I realized they've never seen biscuits in their lives !


Now I sat back and did some thinking (synapticsparks)...
Don't we tend to do this when new & challenging opportunities seek us? Don't we, at times, turn back and flee with fright? 

I hope I've transmitted the synapticspark to you. I leave the rest of thinking to you :)

If you've got another synapticspark or feel this is a good one, do let me know through your comments or message. Thank you :)

An Unexpected Win !!

The TIMES PHOTO JOURNAL (https://www.facebook.com/times.photojournal) conducts photography contests often. Last week, the topic was "Everyday life". I'd also joined and submitted three pics as per the contest rules. The online competition is a huge one. The page has around 66,000 subscribers. Around 550 budding photographers participated! 1340 photographs were submitted. 15 photographs would  judged as finalists by eminent judges.

Now...I was posted in the Emergency Medical Department during the time while this contest was announced. So I'd submitted pics which I'd clicked earlier. Though I had some better ideas, I did not have the time to go out and shoot them :( These were the photos, I'd submitted.

 

By God's grace, somehow, my photograph (the first one on the left) was selected among the top 15 (out of 1340). I'm so happy. Here's the certificate they mailed me :)

I'm totally out of words. I just don't know what to write more :). 

Thank you every one for the support & encouragement. 

I ❤ Photography because it's a perfect blend of 

Mathematics + Optical Physics + Creativity !

-Abialbon Paul

With A Little Wit & Wisdom !

Here are some of my (original) Facebook status updates. I hope you'll find them having a little wit & a little wisdom ;)) :-p

__________^_^__________

True Love is like a tumor that arises in your heart and permeates 
your soul until you lose yourself selflessly for the other.

__________^_^__________

I'm stuck here in a hard shell...pressure from all sides, life getting harder and harder......
But deep down here, I'm metamorphosing....silently and patiently...slowly and steadily...
When I fly out I'll be something beautiful :)
I'm in OG Postings :(

__________^_^__________

I'm not single. I'm HALF :-)
I'll be whole when I'm married :-)

__________^_^__________

Whatever I've learnt in medical school are in grey areas (of my brain:) 
#Literally. #Medico language

__________^_^__________

to forgive: (v) a selective self induced amnesia of the offending event.

__________^_^__________

Tsunami, tsunami go away,
Come never again on this bay,
Little Abi wants to play,
Tsunami, tsunami go away.... :-(
(when there's was a tsunami alert in Pondicherry. I'd put this update and Tsunami didn't dare to come)

__________^_^__________

Heights of frustration ;-P
You spend all ur 5 SMS explaining some vague medical concept to some boy.
After you've sent the 5th msg, a girl messages you "Hi" :))
(When the 5 SMS/day rule was announced)

__________^_^__________

Some one just told me, "Some of your photos look very good. That's because you've got a good camera"
I told him, "Yeah! And give me Sachin Tendulkar's bat and I'll score 100 centuries."
#problem??
__________^_^__________

I know life is not easy. I've not asked GOD for an easy life. 
But I've asked for someone to share it with :))

__________^_^__________

Whenever i'm posted in any department in INTERNSHIP, I do 3 things:-
1. Feel that the previous department was far better
2. Count the days for the current posting to end
3. Look forward for an easy life in the next posting :-P:-P

__________^_^__________

These are just a few....I hope you like them. Thanks for the support for my blog. Thanks for the inspiration. Feel feel to comment or share. Thank you :)

Showing Love

First time ever, I'm blogging something that is not my own idea/creation. However I felt so compelled to do so because it was so heart warming !

Do watch this video by clicking the link below.

>>  To a Child, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E (click on this link)
This video is copyrighted to Bronze Brow Publishing & Simple Truths

Of Value? or Of Success?

“Try not to become a man of success rather try to become a man of value.” –Albert Einstein

Everyone wants to be successful. Very true.

But what is success? Whom do you consider successful ?

What "SUCCESS" means to you is largely determined by the society and the media's influence on you. You might feel that a person who owns a three bed-roomed mansion, a BMW car and all the other luxuries of life, earning 2 lakh/month as the most successful person. Or you might consider that a person who is popularized by the media and famous all around the globe as successful. A top rated-popstar. A CEO of a successful company. A top notch computer programmer. Whatever!

What about a high school chemistry teacher in a small town? - Are you kidding?
The society by large would consider that person as "middle class" or probably a little more than middle class if his salary is good or if he has good ancestral property.

Now let me introduce to you, Mr. Vishwakumar. To those who don't know about him, he's a Chemistry teacher in a private school (Petit Seminaire) in Pondicherry. He was my teacher.

He is a simple person. He teaches Chemistry at school. He also teaches Chemistry and Physics in the evenings at his house for very nominal fees. Now what is great about him???
Well, ask anyone! Anyone inside Petit Seminaire School, any past pupil of that school, any parent of the student who studied under him, any other teacher in the town of Pondicherry, or even many others living in Pondicherry. People will unanimously tell you that he is one of the best teachers. People respect him for who he is. His passion for teaching, his care for his students and the power of encouragement and motivation he has, his humility, his dedication makes him so popular and dear among his students.

Was he successful? - I don't know. It depends on what you consider successful. He does not own a Ferrari.
Was he of valve?  - YES !!!
How do I say so? He's a brilliant person. If he'd chosen to be (say) a computer programmer** (just an example), earned millions and lived his way, many would have been deprived of a wonderful teacher.

Now what do we learn here:
- Many people are not satisfied with their profession. They feel unsuccessful in this competitive world. (like a doctor working in a rural centre compared to a doctor working in a corporate hospital). How successful you are doesn't matter when compared how valuable you are.

-A man of value will live in the hearts of people even after his death. A successful person's money will be looted after his death. (I don't mean you shouldn't be successful. In fact, you should. But the priority you have decides your life principles)

To conclude: “Try not to become a man of success rather try to become a man of value.” –Albert Einstein

** I never say that a computer engineer can't be a man of value. It was just an example. You can be a man of value in whichever profession you are, whichever part of the world you live in...etc.

Cure someone ! Get cured !!

One disease which resolves when you try to cure someone else with the same disease. See the pics below.

When in company !

 At times of loneliness !

When nothings changes...

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. 
Mother Teresa 

I'll be happy & less lonely if you share this or leave a comment below !

Barfi! - Not a review!

I am not a movie reviewer. I am not a movie critic. I not any of the actor's fan-boy.
(Well, if your internal voicing system came up with "Well, who the hell are you then?", I'm just a blogger @ blogger.com :)

Normally I don't take any initiative to watch a movie. My friends usually call me and book tickets for me. I just go with them. First time ever, slept just one hour after a grueling night shift @ JIPMER, caught a bus to Chennai, watched Barfi! at the Sangam Cinemas and  returned back to Pondy on the same day.
No idea why I did that but I never thought this trip would end up a little life enriching!

The movie Barfi is about how three young people learn that love can neither be defined nor contained by society's norms of normal and abnormal. That was beautifully portrayed using excellent acting talent with minimal dialogues, beautiful screenplay, amazing cinematography & a heart touching storyline.

Bounce back !
Barfi, a deaf mute, lost his mother at birth. You can imagine what a tragic life it would be. In spite of all his negatives, Barfi is always colourful with a smile. You might say this is fiction!!! Wait a minute! There were times when he got totally dejected and lost his temper. He wanted to yell but even a little sound he could never make (like when Shruthi betrayed his love or when Jhilmil kept following him like mad). What did he do? He rapidly came back to his senses put a smile on everyone's face. 

Value people. Especially the ones who value you.
We don't realize the value of someone unless we lose them. It may then be that God deliberately brings minor break ups or tragedy into some of our lives so that we realize our blunted affect and move on with more passion.

Seek higher help!
Whenever some difficult decision was due, Barfi would do something strange. He was probably asking for a sign. He would bring down a lamp post and see if it would hit a bottle he kept in front of it. If it, then he would boldly do ahead with what he had in his mind.

Unexpressed love is worse than Hatred !
Love is not an emotion to be stored in the heart. Of what use it is to have a swollen up heart full of love which is not expressed. And to express it, you don't need words. Love is a verb and what you do matters. From expressing his love to caring for the one he loved, Barfi was full of action.

A good friend makes the life's hard journey bearable.
We couldn't notice Barfi's disability because of two reasons. One was his cheerfulness and presence of mind. The other was his friend's constant support. To write a love letter or a ransom note, his friends put their share.

Choices!
Day to day, me make so many choices either knowingly or unknowingly. But there are some important choices that we need to be very careful about;  made wrongly, it could lead to a life of regrets. Shruthi was way too quick to make a choice which she regretted her whole life. (Ironically she saw her mother regretting a very similar bad choice). It is very important to note that though we can do something later to partly reverse the changes, the consequences can never be fully reverted back.

Disability is a disability when you call it so.
As I said earlier, it was hard to realize that Barfi or Jhilmil was disabled. They never focused on it. I felt they were living their lives one day at a time, enjoying their journey of life.