It had dawned just like any another day. Nothing was too special nor too tragic about the day that it was worth any iota of my remembrance. Until...
"Don't give up hope. Everything will be all right, things will change for the better"
"What's wrong? You know you can discuss freely, right?"
What's wrong? Why is everyone acting so weird? I pondered. "Nothing", I murmured back.
I fell exhausted on my bed, my thoughts still researching what had called for such exaggerated concern all of a sudden. My curiosity only grew more and finally deciding to know the reason, I stormed out of my room and asked her. Momentarily taking her eyes off the computer screen, she looked at me over her glasses and answered me in gestures by stroking her chin I mimicked the same and my hands could feel the coarse bristles of overgrown hair on my beard.
Phew... My dear God, why is it that I am always lazy and slack when I don't get things done in time but when I don't get a shave on time and grow a beard it becomes a quintessence of depression and love failure. This was not the sole occurrence of such demeanour, I realize that I've been facing certain troubles which I could say are rather peculiar to my present status: A Bachelor!
The other day, I was about to put a whole gulab jamun into my mouth. I was holding it in my hand. The sweet jaggery was almost dripping. It was looking so delicious and my mouth had already started watering. Ah...that happy reunion, that fleeting sweet love affair that was about to happen then was aberrantly broken off by an offbeat question from some nonchalant voice from behind.
"When are you getting married?"
I turned around and the gulab jamun clutched in my hand was carefully snatched. And before I could make a move or open my mouth, that slender figure disappeared amongst the crowd. I did not complain because it was a marriage reception that I was attending. I could get more gulab jamuns, as much as it pleased me. But that question put me out of mood for food.
I lay awake in my bed that night pondering over that disturbing question. "When will I get married?" I kept asking myself. Normally I wouldn't let such thoughts disturb me. But then, recently I had developed such anuptaphobia that I had asked such questions to myself several times before. All of my anuptaphobia stems from the fact that I live in an environment where love is just trampled over by the self-centred, the self-indulgent and the proud. No day ever passes without the sad story of the unfortunate love failures, marriages in shambles and desperate singles.
I have received so much advice so far that I can almost write a "How to find a girl for marriage" book out of it. Some excerpts...
"Keep searching. Keep trying. You'll will surely hit"
"Go girl hunting yaar, you're wasting your time"
"Get yourself registered in a matrimonial and find a girl soon, isn't it getting late?"
I am just 24 years old. Some feel it's too early (for marriage), some, too late. To be frank, I keep oscillating between the two like a disturbed pendulum pushed by people on either sides. There are times when I simply don't care and there are times when I am totally bothered and apprehensive. The fact is I do believe in a God and I know things will go on well for me. But then, God helps those who help themselves. There is a fine line between when you should be patient and hopeful and when you should take a step of action, a leap, courageously. And this fine faint line is seen by a wisdom which I am in desperate need right now.
