To FB or Not to FB !

I have been in Facebook for three years now and I find certain things very disturbing. This Facebook has brought more contempt to me that anything else.

- You are always on Facebook ! You should be jobless !
- You keep posting something or the other, you're trying to impress people.
- You are too egoistic ! Nobody is interested in your posts.
- You have few useless people always liking your useless posts !
- You are addicted to Facebook !

The above are some of the harsh remarks I've got over the past year. Fortunately these statements are made by only 4-6 people from my friend list of around 920 ! But it really hurts because my parents are also a part of this group !

Now why did I cling to Facebook for so long ?

When I started using Facebook, I used it as a medium for creative expression and to keep in touch with my friends. I had few rules for myself. I would not use Facebook to fight/argue with anyone. I would not use any bad language or hurt people with my posts or comments. I posted mostly original creative thoughts or inspirational quotes. I used it a lot to share my photography which I'd a passion for. Very rarely, if I'd hurt someone because of my posts or comments, I'd promptly apologize, remove the content and evaporate off the grudge.

The things that happened as a result was really pleasant. Some people really loved my posts. So many of my friends praised my photography and encouraged me. Some juniors found my posts useful and personally messaged me to thank me. I started a group called " DSA " where the day scholars in my college could meet online, share thoughts, knowledge and organize treats. It was received with good appreciation by some. Facebook also helped me to connect with juniors from other colleges who sometimes asked me for my opinion and advice. I never believed that I was competent enough to give any advice, but the conversations we had were really pleasant and was beneficial to both every time.

I short, I feel lonely most of the time. And the good natured relationships that I found here were the only things that kept me tied to Facebook.

But in due course of time, I developed enemies, I guess. I found few people making harsh remarks about me (like the above ones). One guy even used to scorn at me because my posts got some 41 likes ! That was a very unnecessary jealousy and envy. I am really not bothered about the likes !

I realize that it is impossible to please all. Some people consider me to be boastful or arrogant. How could they? I have never used an abusive word, never involved myself in any altercation and have genuinely tried to help people whenever I could.  And I have tolerated so many posts by others which were sometimes profane/abusive/irritating. I never complained. I would simply ignore them if I didn't like some content. I really don't understand why some people are too arrogant. Don't I have the right to voice my opinions on my own wall. There's always a un-friend option or block available to keep me out of sight if people didn't like. Why hurt me with unnecessary words ?

And in due course, I have also come across people who contact me only if they needed help. Fake smiles, fake emoticons and fake " Thanks so much, I'll never forget this help". I've seen it all.
Well, I am not saying that I was right all the time. I am not an angel from heaven. I've made some mistakes or hurt people too. But every time, I was prompt in apologizing. Even if I had some altercation very very rarely, I made sure that the grudge was destroyed before that midnight and peace ensured.

Now these few people who bear unnecessary grudge against me and treat me with contempt hurt me a lot. They are worsening my already troublesome inferiority complex. What I'm so worried that these hurts might slowly change my own nature. I am afraid that I might turn abusive and offensive too.

I'll have to do something about this. Delete my profile permanently? I would sure miss some people. Or may be I should delete my present profile and create a new one where I would add people selectively? I don't know but I'm too confused and hurt too.

Confessions of a Medico - I

I don't have anything 'interesting' to share on these 'confessions' or 'anonymous proposal' pages that have loomed over several social networking sites recently. But this is what happened to me during my medical undergraduate training.

The day I walked into JIPMER, my medical school, I absolutely had no sense of purpose. I had no great ambitions. I wasn't sure of my choice. I had cleared the eligibility tests for JIPMER, AIEEE and wasn't sure which one to choose. And I hadn't thought of other options ! (I had been selected for the National Biology Olympiad the previous year, which stimulated my interested in Biological sciences. I probably thought learning human physiology and pathology would be great.)

Just few days into my first year and I was sure I had made a wrong decision. I badly wanted to talk with someone. I wanted to throw a tantrum and somehow leave the course. Nothing materialized. I was not performing so well in the exams (Though, I never failed one!). As I was struggling through, something happened to me that changed me a lot ! Friends ! (Not the serial, I mean my real friends).

In the university exams that marked the end of the first year of MBBS, I topped all the three subjects. (Actually top marks in two subjects and 2 marks less than the topper in one). That motivated me to move forward. I moved to second year and loved the para-clinical subjects very well. But little did I realize that I had crossed the point of no return !

Second year went on well. But the third, the fourth and the internship were hell.

There was nothing wrong with the course. I simply did not like it. Further to make things worse, there was always a pain to torment me.

I had this problem of migraine for long. For many, migraine was just another headache. But for me, it was a brainquake that occurred once on a happy week, five to six days on a worse week ! The pain's worse, and the pre & post migraine phases were no better. They made me depressed many a time. They robbed me of every little joy in my heart and strength in my muscles.

I can't describe in full how much I suffered. I wanted to run away in between but was too tired to do so. Somehow, I passed every subject with distinction and got some gold medals too.

I don't say that I would have not suffered if I had chosen some other profession. Every profession has its own troubles. It's the passion for the profession that keeps people going. I found myself having none or too little passion towards this profession. However, in all these, I kept patient care a priority. You can read about some of my patient encounters in this blog.

Till now, I have no clear idea if I have made a wrong choice. But I have no regrets. Because, in the course of my MBBS, I have learnt the following: (and probably much more, I have failed to pen down here!)

1. "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.", Sir  Isaac Newton said. If I have come this far, it's because I have stood on the shoulders of my friends.

2. If there's a God, I never understand why He won't intervene and change things for the better. But now, after crossing MBBS, I strangely feel so strong. I feel I can tackle anything that comes my way. I have seen the worst and have survived. Probably God has a purpose in everything of which we have little knowledge! Or that is how we should console ourselves!

3. I have learnt to live life. One day at a time. Trying my best to live life to the maximum.

4. What matters to me at the end of the day?
It's not the knowledge gained or the awards collected. It's not the Facebook likes or the no. of blogger page visits. Wisdom. Creativity and innovation. The positive impact I create on the life of people around me. The purity of love in my relationships. These are the things that matter most to me.

5. Happiness is what we create for ourselves. Respect & Trust are what we earn for ourselves. These are certain things that can never come by force or power.

That's all for now ! Happy week ahead !

With A Little Wit & Wisdom !

Here are some of my (original) Facebook status updates. I hope you'll find them having a little wit & a little wisdom ;)) :-p

__________^_^__________

True Love is like a tumor that arises in your heart and permeates 
your soul until you lose yourself selflessly for the other.

__________^_^__________

I'm stuck here in a hard shell...pressure from all sides, life getting harder and harder......
But deep down here, I'm metamorphosing....silently and patiently...slowly and steadily...
When I fly out I'll be something beautiful :)
I'm in OG Postings :(

__________^_^__________

I'm not single. I'm HALF :-)
I'll be whole when I'm married :-)

__________^_^__________

Whatever I've learnt in medical school are in grey areas (of my brain:) 
#Literally. #Medico language

__________^_^__________

to forgive: (v) a selective self induced amnesia of the offending event.

__________^_^__________

Tsunami, tsunami go away,
Come never again on this bay,
Little Abi wants to play,
Tsunami, tsunami go away.... :-(
(when there's was a tsunami alert in Pondicherry. I'd put this update and Tsunami didn't dare to come)

__________^_^__________

Heights of frustration ;-P
You spend all ur 5 SMS explaining some vague medical concept to some boy.
After you've sent the 5th msg, a girl messages you "Hi" :))
(When the 5 SMS/day rule was announced)

__________^_^__________

Some one just told me, "Some of your photos look very good. That's because you've got a good camera"
I told him, "Yeah! And give me Sachin Tendulkar's bat and I'll score 100 centuries."
#problem??
__________^_^__________

I know life is not easy. I've not asked GOD for an easy life. 
But I've asked for someone to share it with :))

__________^_^__________

Whenever i'm posted in any department in INTERNSHIP, I do 3 things:-
1. Feel that the previous department was far better
2. Count the days for the current posting to end
3. Look forward for an easy life in the next posting :-P:-P

__________^_^__________

These are just a few....I hope you like them. Thanks for the support for my blog. Thanks for the inspiration. Feel feel to comment or share. Thank you :)

Are you Facebook addicted?

Just because someone uses Facebook too much doesn't mean that he/she is addicted. Get the concept right. Addiction, as for anything else, has a characteristic withdrawal reaction. What I mean is that a person who is addicted to Facebook will feel uncomfortable/irritated/depressed if he/she is forcefully denied access to Facebook.

There are people who post two status updates a day. The like and comment on all the posts. But force them to stop Facebook, they'll shift to some other activity. They are communicative, creative, enthusiastic and energetic. Their Facebook activity is just a reflection of these characteristics. 

There are other people who never update their status. Rarely do they like or comment. They don't come online either. But deny them access to Facebook and their hands start itching. 

So how to check if you are addicted?

Abstain from Facebook for 5 days. Check how many times you get the impulse to check for Facebook notifications. If the urge comes >5 times/day, you are addicted.

P.S. I did my 120 hour facebook abstinence test few months back and found I'm not addicted :)