Sunday, June 30, 2013

To FB or Not to FB !

I have been in Facebook for three years now and I find certain things very disturbing. This Facebook has brought more contempt to me that anything else.

- You are always on Facebook ! You should be jobless !
- You keep posting something or the other, you're trying to impress people.
- You are too egoistic ! Nobody is interested in your posts.
- You have few useless people always liking your useless posts !
- You are addicted to Facebook !

The above are some of the harsh remarks I've got over the past year. Fortunately these statements are made by only 4-6 people from my friend list of around 920 ! But it really hurts because my parents are also a part of this group !

Now why did I cling to Facebook for so long ?

When I started using Facebook, I used it as a medium for creative expression and to keep in touch with my friends. I had few rules for myself. I would not use Facebook to fight/argue with anyone. I would not use any bad language or hurt people with my posts or comments. I posted mostly original creative thoughts or inspirational quotes. I used it a lot to share my photography which I'd a passion for. Very rarely, if I'd hurt someone because of my posts or comments, I'd promptly apologize, remove the content and evaporate off the grudge.

The things that happened as a result was really pleasant. Some people really loved my posts. So many of my friends praised my photography and encouraged me. Some juniors found my posts useful and personally messaged me to thank me. I started a group called " DSA " where the day scholars in my college could meet online, share thoughts, knowledge and organize treats. It was received with good appreciation by some. Facebook also helped me to connect with juniors from other colleges who sometimes asked me for my opinion and advice. I never believed that I was competent enough to give any advice, but the conversations we had were really pleasant and was beneficial to both every time.

I short, I feel lonely most of the time. And the good natured relationships that I found here were the only things that kept me tied to Facebook.

But in due course of time, I developed enemies, I guess. I found few people making harsh remarks about me (like the above ones). One guy even used to scorn at me because my posts got some 41 likes ! That was a very unnecessary jealousy and envy. I am really not bothered about the likes !

I realize that it is impossible to please all. Some people consider me to be boastful or arrogant. How could they? I have never used an abusive word, never involved myself in any altercation and have genuinely tried to help people whenever I could.  And I have tolerated so many posts by others which were sometimes profane/abusive/irritating. I never complained. I would simply ignore them if I didn't like some content. I really don't understand why some people are too arrogant. Don't I have the right to voice my opinions on my own wall. There's always a un-friend option or block available to keep me out of sight if people didn't like. Why hurt me with unnecessary words ?

And in due course, I have also come across people who contact me only if they needed help. Fake smiles, fake emoticons and fake " Thanks so much, I'll never forget this help". I've seen it all.
Well, I am not saying that I was right all the time. I am not an angel from heaven. I've made some mistakes or hurt people too. But every time, I was prompt in apologizing. Even if I had some altercation very very rarely, I made sure that the grudge was destroyed before that midnight and peace ensured.

Now these few people who bear unnecessary grudge against me and treat me with contempt hurt me a lot. They are worsening my already troublesome inferiority complex. What I'm so worried that these hurts might slowly change my own nature. I am afraid that I might turn abusive and offensive too.

I'll have to do something about this. Delete my profile permanently? I would sure miss some people. Or may be I should delete my present profile and create a new one where I would add people selectively? I don't know but I'm too confused and hurt too.